No more TOO MUCH LOVE & CARE
Finally the day had come, when a close friend of mine thought me how not to love and care too much..
Before directly jumping into what she did to teach me, let me tell the background story…
We were freshers.. just out of college.. directly placed into company.. New place.. New people.. I was from Hyderabad (my hometown).. she was from Bangalore..
Day 1 – She came to Hyderabad.. today was the first day in office (Dec 5th, 2016).. as usual everything was new.. the board room.. the paper work etc..
– She was late to the office..
– She sat beside us.. (A friend of mine n me)
– She started asking few questions to my friend.. I was feeling shy to talk.. because of the breakup which I had in Third Year – 2nd Semester..
She introduced herself like this.. Hello, I am abcd (few seconds pause) efgh.. [Didn’t feel like writing her name]. This introduction made me smile & laugh 😀 :D..
We went for lunch (A friend of mine and me that’s all.. :p We didn’t even bother to ask her whether she would like to join with us for lunch or not.. #Mistake (Freshers, college minded)
Day 2 – We started talking..
I took her out to have Shawarma.. then I dropped her to bus stop.. from where she got direct bus to her Flat..
Day 3 – We spoke..
After few days I started dropping & picking from bus stop..
(This was one of the long routes.. I told her that I prefer this way going to home #lie (The only reason why I lied to her was that I felt that she’s good from heart.. she would never break mine)
As I used to travel with her she started sharing her feelings.. her life story.. love life story.. professional life story.. Where did she work before (Part time), her part time job experience.. I used to do the same with some limitations..
After some days it was confirmed that she’s actually good from heart.. unlike others she wouldn’t use people and throw.. [I felt this because the way she used to talk.. openly.. the experiences which she used to share.. made me feel that she’s different from others]
This was the time when I started trusting her blindly.. and started sharing everything without hesitations..
Very soon within two months of we being friends she became the most important person in my life.. just like my family..
Till date I never shared about my family background with anyone.. she’s the one who knows it..
The time when we used to travel by bike.. she used to tell me where I am making mistakes.. how to correct them.. how to be safe.. how to act smart.. etc.. (The First Person after my family to think about me in a way that benefits me..)
Days passed.. trust developed.. from one side.. she still had trust issues with me.. in some matters.. (common with all girls)
One fine day she drops me a text stating that
“xyz.. you’re the person whom I can never forget and respect a lot..” (I still have a screenshot of this text)
The next day she comes and tell everything to me what happened.. this never happened before.. so after few days I asked.. her how come you’re becoming so expressive??
She replied – I require some time to trust a person.. and I was in that list now..
I felt so happy… I was on 7th Sky at that time..
Now the major tragedy happens in our life.. Before this I would like to tell you all that “I was a very short tempered guy.. The moment I am angry I don’t even care for anyone.. anyone as in anyone..
Few clashes happened between us.. just because of a idiotic person in our life (#As_Acted_Boss)
I have hurt her with my actions n words (though it happened before also) but this time was the massive one.. my anger took me down…
Even after this she didn’t leave me alone.. she was with me but with few restrictions now.. (I personally felt that)
The situation over her was like this..
You have confidence to ride bike.. and the moment you start the vehicle you met with a major accident.. everything breaks.. mainly the confidence.. in this case #Trust :'(
She started kind of being away not totally but to some extent..(this thing came into my attention like this.. she wanted me to learn in life that.. even though you’re close to some person.. they might not be with you forever – forever and a day)
But still she cares the same way..
Now coming on the major point how she thought me not to love and care excessively..
– Meanwhile she shifted to PG near by our office because of some personal reasons..
I used to tell her that I will pick her from PG and drop her.. even though the PG had Cab facility..
For few days she came with me to office.. but most of the times she didn’t…
— I was getting used to this separation —
When she’s irritated or has some problems.. I would definitely be readily available for her.. I ask her to come with me.. so that she would tell everything.. and forget that unpleasant thing over the dinner or without dinner
She never came with me.. when she was irritated.. even though she did few times she was dead silent..
If I have some problems.. or I don’t talk she gets really worried.. and ask me questions.. what happened.. why do silent.. why so dull..
I thought of telling her why don’t you come by the cab everyday.. (I couldn’t do so as I wanted to spend time and be with her — Because she was the person who helped the broken 💓 to be normal (still in process))
Indirectly she was trying to convey me some message from past few days after I hurt her very badly..
Today while talking she told me that as she has cab facility I don’t need to come and pick her..(This was not the case when she joined PG) She can come and go by cab..
This statement changed everything..
(This was the ultimate shocker to me.. I was blank.. I didn’t knew what to reply..)
Changed as in..
She doesn’t need my help anymore (though she never asked – I helped her with my wish)
I don’t know why I she doing this suddenly..
There might be two reasons..
1. She wants me to learn something out of it..
2. She wants to walk out from my life without hurting me (as I have hurt her many times)
Both reason are valid in random situations..
I don’t know what’s happening.. I don’t know how will I be when she leaves me..
Though her words have hurt me badly few times.. I took everything in positive way as I couldn’t afford to lose her..
Even this I will take in positive way.. let’s hope for the best..
She will be part of those 7 minutes of my life.. after death..
Few major things she thought to me..
– Never show excess love or care to any person in life..
– Never help a person around till the moment they ask for it..
– Controlling Anger
– Never react just respond..
– Wait for Situations
– Don’t Assume
And many things which couldn’t be inked down right now…
I still care her.. like her loads… I will always be available when she needs me..
Any person reading this article.. Can give me some suggestions.. if I lose her i.e. Reason #2 comes true..
What should I do??
There’s a question that’s in my heart right now..
“Why their is a sudden change in her behavior”? Is that the resultant of hurting her or she lost trust.. or something else..
Do comment please….